A very good friend sent this to me recently because we are both Pet Lovers! I found it very amusing!
The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.
Dear Dogs and Cats:
The dishes with the paw prints are yours. and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom without assistance or company for years - canine/feline attendance is not required. The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first. Then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough. Finally, in fairnes, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:
TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it "fur"-niture.
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.
Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they
1. eat less
2. don't ask for money all the time
3. are easier to train
4. normally come when called
5. never ask to drive the car
6. don't hang out with drug-using people
7. don't smoke or drink
8. don't want to wear your clothes
9. don't have to buy the latest fashions
10. don't need a gazillion dollars for college AND
11. if they get pregnant, you can sell their children.
Author Unknown
Connie Harveyis a local agent with Pilkerton Realtors, serving home buyers and sellers in Nashville, TN, Brentwood TN, and Franklin TN. Let her help you realize your Real Estate goals. She can be reached at 615-371-2474.
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Love it.
(and most of that stuff listed, already happened to me today!)
Very funny---thanks for sharing!
Thanks for sharing your humor with us this moring. Have a great day
Bruce - My favorite is why they are better than children! :)
Nancy - My friends told me my blog was too serious and I needed to lighten us sometimes. I'll try some humor now and then!
Harry - We need a good laugh in the morning! Makes the rest of the day go well. LOL
Ah, thanks for the laugh - now I can cross off one of my to do items today... humor! Thanks Connie!!
Having three dogs, I can relate. Thanks for sharing.
Pam - Yes me too!
Jeff - It's an animal lover or hater humor. No in between. :)
Connie, how true, how true. I do love animals...
A nice light-hearted view of the world through a pet's eyes. It's the simple things that make it all worth while.
Michael - You gotta love 'em. LOL
John - It's amazing what makes them happy or excited. Cracks me up sometimes. :)
You should have seen me and my husband last night trying to claim our spots on the bed between the 3 cats. It's a good thing the dog lives outside.......
Yes, it can be challenging. LOL
Connie That is very funny from beginning to end - only a pet owner would understand
Hello Connie,
I love your posting. I agree with the comments and animals are less maintenance.
I've had a copy of that for a couple of years now. I think my mother-in-law sent it to me. It was just too classic not to keep, print out, and post for our friends when they come over.